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Photograph by Arianne Clément
here are times in life when you find yourself asking:
«Do I still desire?»
Not just one person.
Not just pleasure.
But to want it all.
To feel that thrill that makes us alive, that impulse that pushes us towards others, towards a project, towards life itself.
Many of the men and women I meet in tantric massage arrive with the same confession, often in a low voice, as if it were shameful:
- « I don't know if I want anything anymore.»
- I have everything: work, family, comforts... but nothing that makes me tick any more.«
- I feel turned off, as if the light has gone out.«
I hear these words over and over again.
And each time, they speak of an emptiness that goes beyond simple sexual intimacy.
After all, desire is not just a matter of the body.
It's a breath of life.
In our society, desire is a paradoxical word.
We see it everywhere, used as a marketing tool.
It is the poster of advertising, the fuel of commercial eroticism, the invisible engine of performance.
We are pushed to «want more» and to constantly fulfil that desire.
And, at the same time, it remains a suspect word.
It is associated with impulse, danger and sin.
The fear is that it will lead to self-centredness, dependency and chaos.
Between these two extremes - commodified desire and repressed desire - many end up becoming anaesthetised.
The body functions, but no longer vibrates.
Life goes on, but without colour.
And yet, in psychoanalytical thought as in spirituality, desire is recognised as an essential driving force.
Sigmund Freud described it as « the root of all psychic energy ».
In the Tantra, it is seen as the first vibration of the divine in matter - Shakti, the living energy that dances with Shiva, consciousness.
In both cases, it is not an animal need to be met, but a sacred fire that drives us to exist fully.
Through emotional wounds, fatigue, suffocating routines or contradictory messages about sexuality, the body sometimes ends up forgetting its ability to feel.
C., aged 52, arrived one day for a session and said to me:
«I don't feel anything any more. No desire, no pleasure. My body... it's just a tool for working and sleeping. I feel like a dead body.»
P., aged 47, told me:
«I don't know if I want anything any more. I do everything I need to - work, my relationship, everyday life - but I feel like I'm living on automatic pilot.»
I could list dozens of testimonials.
They reveal suffering that goes far beyond the bedroom: that of losing touch with the breath of life.
Because when desire fades, it's not just intimacy that goes dark.
It's often the whole inner drive that fades:
As part of the tantric massage, The work around desire is not about satisfying it.
It aims to rehabilitate it.
All this serves to remind the body that it is alive and loving.
That the shivers, the sighs, the tears or the outbursts are not weaknesses, but signs that the energy starts to flow again.
And this fire, once awakened, does not belong to the practitioner:
it belongs to the individual.
It's a reminder that you can burn without getting lost, that desire can become a gateway to greater presence and joy.
In a sacred space like Tantra, he rediscovers this dual nature:
it inflames, but it uplifts.
The philosopher Georges Bataille wrote:
Nurturing desire isn't just about rekindling the flame in your relationship.
It means keeping the flame of the whole being alive.
For desire, when it circulates freely, becomes :
And contrary to popular belief, desire does not disappear with age.
It is only extinguished when we stop listening to it or reduce it to its impulsive dimension.
I., aged 60, had been through a long period of bereavement and had been living in a kind of torpor for years.
After a few sessions of tantric massage, she once said to me:
His desire had not been «rekindled» by an external objective.
He had simply been rehabilitated as an inner breath.
And that's what changes everything.
The question to be asked is perhaps not
«Do I want to?,
but rather :
«When was the last time I felt the thrill of life? »
Maybe listening to music.
Walking in nature.
By breathing deeply at dawn.
Letting a hand rest on your skin, aimlessly, just to remind you that you're alive.
That thrill is proof that your fire still exists.
He's only waiting for one thing: be fed.
And if you feel that it has died down, you should know that there are practices, spaces and support available to revive it.
Not to sell you a fantasy.
Not to lock you into a role.
But to help you rediscover the sacred breath that makes life full and vibrant.
Because when it comes down to it, desire has only one mission:
remind us that we are alive.
Under the quivering breath of rediscovered desire,
Hajira
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Le Toucher de Soie invites you to explore your body in a deep and sensitive way, to awaken your vital energy and reconnect fully with yourself.
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