I’m standing there in a light-dimmed room. Its decoration invites me to travel: candles lit here and there, heady scents of Japanese incense with fig, musk or jasmine. There is a pleasant warmth to support the nakedness. Yes I am standing, naked, and I wait for it to arrive … here it is! naked too. I am at first embarrassed … and then everything seems so natural.
She takes my hands and plunges into my eyes with a loud breath to invite me to breathe also, more calmly, longer. Her look intimidates me, she plunges into me. I am embarrassed. She smiled at me to reassure me, but her eyes were still so intense.
She realizes that my arms are stiff.
– “Let yourself be done,” she said in her soft voice … Allow yourself to receive, you are here to lay down your body and offer it to the pleasure of surrendering and feeling.
That’s right. Feel … a touch, a breath, a presence. Gently I agree to close my eyes to let myself carry. She carries me into a moving embrace … a big hug, like a child in her mother’s arms. I could not remember such a long hug in my life, my breath is cut off. I feel so small and yet confident. Her deep breathing and her caresses behind my neck calm me.
I begin to detach myself from my self, the massage can begin.
I lay down on my stomach. She places me very carefully. The silence surrounds us … The exploration begins on the whole body, by an unknown touch, soft and sensual, and sometimes enveloping and firm …
I feel his delicate hand. The tip of her breasts, her skin on mine, and even her breath caress me. His whole being explores me.
Sometimes I have the impression that there is a second person, but it is not she alone, she alone who plunges into me, surprises me, awakens me to the subtle pleasure that reassures me, which brings me far from reality … in love? She makes me travel. I hear this music in the distance, but it is above all this great silence in me, this fullness that sharpens my senses. The more I am present, the more I feel the need to breathe deeply and each sensation is increased tenfold. I do not want to miss anything. I let it eroticize the smallest part of my body. Thrills invade me and call for my femininity. I let her guide me to completely relax, no longer think, no longer wait, no longer seek … just feel the desire to offer me, to abandon me to her.
She then invites me to put me on flat belly. Very difficult to turn around when you are already far away: my body is heavy … I turn softly.
And there I open my eyes. There she is sitting in lotus, like these statuettes of Hindu goddesses. My look is different. The veil of fear, the anxiety I had when I got up, I am amazed by all this beauty. Here she plunges back into my eyes. I try to support her look, she smiles at me, she is beautiful!
Her fragrant hands settle on my face … chamomile, ylang ylang or orange blossom, I deeply inspire. These scents carry me elsewhere, his fingers disconnect me again. I close my eyes. The points that she discovers subtly on the face provide absolute relaxation, her caresses return me to maternal tenderness, I feel child again. And now that plays with my ears, she makes me discover them in her own way, sensations both delicious and exciting !? yes, it penetrates my ears with his fingers, and I plunge back into a deaf silence … I fly completely, where am I? who am I? swirl of emotions, I am moved to the depths of myself …
I feel her stand up to sit between my legs completely open to her, a moment of silence … what is she going to do?
This pending time puts me in all my states, my breath is cut off. Her warm hands rest on my feet. Again I hear his breath that invites the explorer touch to go up from the toes into my intimate parts. I admire the lightness of his touch, his “Toucher de Soie”. A precision and a correctness, no false note, everything is harmony.
And then the movement stops all the way down my belly … a greeting to my sex. She says hello to her hands and she continues her way to relax my stomach, my plexus. Tenderly first, then with so much strength, as if she were digging a path for the breath to circulate. Then I feel the need to breathe in my lungs as if I were up a mountain! My plexus was so stuck with all her emotions that stagnated there and only wanted to be liberated … She is my liberator to the fairy fingers! I’m calm.
She goes down then massaging my sex. It’s strange, she does not masturbate me, it’s sweet, it’s slow, it’s delicious. When she feels my breath accelerate, or cut off, she rises again to the heart. It is not common to deliver one’s pleasure. I am embarrassed and at the same time eager to continue this game between pleasure and let go. It goes up all this fire of excitement to the heart, then to the end of my fingers.
It’s strange all my being feels penetrated. Through her look, her touch, her breath, she entered me without my realizing it. Energy penetration. I feel weightless … I do not want to go down again … and yet I feel the end come.
She turns me into a fetal position, and embraces me. Again I am very small. I enjoy taking refuge in his arms. I feel loved like a little girl. I rediscovered forgotten sensations, like a teenager. I felt the fire of desire to dwell in me like a woman. And I feel in my turn the urge to give, like a mother. It seemed like a ritual that did honor to the preciousness of my femininity.
The meeting is over. She leaves me alone to wake me gently. I stretch myself as if I were awakening from a restful sleep. Feeling full of fullness, and an ardent desire that wants to be shared.
My body is an open complement. She created space in my body, in my heart and in my head.
I thought of nothing else but this moment of depth, delight, ecstasy …
It was so different from a classic sexuality, where everything goes very quickly. Here, desire has time to flourish and release its sweet perfume, a prelude to a sexual union full of love.
Tantric and experienced masseuse in Lyon, Hajira reveals her feminine expression through the enigmatic universe of Tantra.